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Pussy Grabbers and Ball Busters


The idea of collateral damage from the #MeToo movement interests me. Maybe it's because I was once raked over the coals mercilessly on Facebook by a feminist over a photograph I put up from Rio de Janeiro -- one among maybe a hundred -- of a woman’s beautiful buttocks; she was dancing in public, being filmed as B-roll for coverage of the upcoming World Cup from Rio. The more I've thought about it, the more it feels that at least some of the problem was in that adjective beautiful attached to an intimate part of a woman's body. We're told beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I begin to wonder whether my sin was that I beheld that buttocks as beautiful in my man's mind; the culprit was the "male gaze" itself. A beautiful buttocks is iconic in Brazilian culture. The Greeks used to refer to a well-formed buttocks with the adjective callipygian. It was the first time I had ever put anything up on Facebook, and the response was so righteous and ad-hominem I wondered, where did this come from? I still don't get it. For me, the image was cultural, not prurient. A web search was undertaken and gold was struck. One of my TCBH essays still apparently appears on the magazine website of a friend of a friend, who is an erotic photographer. As in the Playboy magazine formula, he wanted his online "magazine" to feature political articles. I figured it would be in a separate section. But, no, he placed explicit black-and-white images of women taken in Amsterdam all through my essay on US imperialism in the Mideast. I told him to cease-and-desist. But it apparently still remains; I forgot about it and never got it together to force him to delete the thing. The web never forgets. On my Facebook page, I was indicted, convicted, drawn and quartered before I knew what hit me. As one might say, my balls were royally busted. It was the first and last time I used Facebook seriously. But I can live with it. I offered to respectfully talk it over, but the offer was never taken up.

"Me and the mate back at the shack." Two modes of the writer and his lovely wife, Lou Ann."Me and the mate back at the shack." Two modes of the writer and his lovely wife, Lou Ann.

It may sound defensive, as in: "Some of my best friends are women" -- but it's true. I do like and respect women for their minds. I was raised among two brothers, no sisters and an amazing, suffering mother who never complained but probably should have. Thanks to some very smart, incredible women I'm where I am today. One of those women is my wife Lou Ann, who is not shy about letting me know how she feels. For instance, she went all through this essay and said I'd better damn-well say somewhere that women have a "valid" cause when it comes to charges of oppression and sexual misconduct by males throughout history up to and including today. I know of a number of cases where, as a younger woman, she experienced egregious examples of male creepdom and predation. So I'm quite grateful for the wonderful women I know and have known. But, I won't lie, like many males, I got it wrong sometimes, misled by the managing organ in my head and its subordinate in my pants.

story | by Dr. Radut